U. Of Milo.com - General Studies

General Studies

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MATH Please remove your mittens & socks, then proceed to do the following mathematics questions. If you wish, you may use an electronic calculator or a Sony Walkman. 1. Good Day, because we are based in Canada we will start with an easy hoser question eh? Like say you had 2 ╜ dozen beers and you drink one dozen while your brother drinks one dozen and 2 beers (what a hoser your brother is) , Like okay then what do you have ? (Put your answer in here eh?)
3. Okay, now you've got 2 lbs of back bacon and a knife. If you divide 2 lbs. of back bacon by 2 people (you and your brother), with one knife, how much will you get and how much will hose head get? Please show your work.
2. Like this is a trick question eh ? You see, you're stuck in the dessert, and like you've got some long snow chains and some short ones. Stretch them out on the ground and decide which ones to use. Your tires are 30" in diameter and your long snow chains are 6' 3 ╜" long and your short ones are 4' 7". Which ones should you use, and what formula did you use to arrive at your answer? (Might need a fresh cold one for this one)
Computers This is a very exciting area for you, ( and us too ). As when U of Milo was founded, there was no such thing as a PC. The first U of Milo lessons were typed on an electric typewriter. But even more interesting than that is that U of Milo is soon to be offering a U of Milo computers course. You can build your own computers & games ( notice we didn't say programs, who cares about the boring stuff ). For those of you that are already a bit talented in that area, keep an eye on our website for our online gaming & game design competitions. For the rest of us Schmucks, here's the U of Milo Computers entrance requirements. 1. Turn the computer on, never set your coffee or beer next to the keyboard, always use the retractable drink holder that is built in to all modern PC's it's located near the top and there is a little button you push to make it come out. It has a hole in the middle that is very handy for holding ice cream cones too. Why should you always use this device instead of setting your drinks or ice cream next to your keyboard ? (Turn the monitor on too ok?)
2. Please define the following terms: a). Hard Drive
b). Floppy
c). Megabytes
d). Screen Saver
e). Mouse Pad
f). Input Device (Uh huh, you said input uh huh huh)
g). Firewall (There's a fire in the wall!?!?! AAAAAHHH!!!!)
3. Name the nastiest virus you have ever got, describe it's symptoms and what happened to you :
Chemistry You must write a 100 word essay on chemistryЕЕBody chemistry, that is! It would be much easier to write about it if you do some research first. You will likely enjoy this home study.
Physics 1. Which is fastest , The speed of sound through an open pipe or the speed of Draino through a sewer pipe?
2. If you saw a rainbow in the dessert and it wasn't because of a funny marriage, then what could it be ? Please explain.
3. If you were traveling from Philadelphia to New York and you drove 100 Mph for 6.2 hours, how far would you get?
Biology 1. If you have a male blue eyed dominant black mouse with long hair and no tail and you cross him with a red eyed short haired recessive female white mouse. What would you get?
2. How many bugs are there in the Nixon Family ?
Social Studies Because this is Social Studies, list and describe 5 social diseases that can be fatal Е.. PLEASE HURRY ! (Ooops...too late)
English 1. Please complete the following poems : a). There once was a man from Who had I 'Cause he That poor old man from
b). Roses are Violets are is And
2. Now that you are an experienced poet, please write a poem of your own. To make it challenging we ask that you choose one of the following topics for your poetic masterpiece. a). Antidisestablishmentarianism b). Pigs in Space c). Pickle Cores d). The beauty of rusty cans e). Chicken Lice f). All of the above
Art 1. Your first assignment is to purchase an issue of playboy, playgirl, playboar, or penthorse ( whichever your preference may be ). Then open it to the stapled part and make a serious observation as to if the photograph you are studying is art or not. My observations:
2. Draw and color a picture of yourself.
3. Paint your best friend. Their comments on your work:
Shop You may choose to do either Auto Shop or Wood Working Shop, or both if you wish. A. Auto Shop 1. What is a carburetor and what is it used for
2. How often should you replace your radiator gaskets ? Why ?
3. What is the first thing to check if the ignition is not igniting ? Why ?
4. What is the most popular brand of lubricant ? How often should you use it ? Where is it most effectively applied ?
B. Wood Working 1. List your 2 favorite tools and how you use them
2 a). How many times should you hammer if the wood is splitting ?
2 b). What would be a good alternate method?
3. When would you never use cedar?
Home Economics 1. Your first project will be a cooking project. This is a rather simple project for most people, but please do it anyway. Then we will go on to more advanced work. This project is called "making toast". Buy sliced bread ( preferably whole wheat, that way if you under cook it, it will look slightly tanned anyway ). Take one slice of bread and drop it in the toaster, then plug in the toaster and pull down on the lever. Make sure that the toaster is adjusted to your preference, whether it may be raw or disintegrated. Now observe closely, but not too closely or you too will singe your eyelashes. When the toast comes up, either butter or margarine it. Then go feed it to a friend ( not a close friend ). Or if you are really brave you could eat it yourself ! If it is really nice looking and you are exceptionally proud of your work, you may wish to resin coat it and save it forever ! Or perhaps give it to someone special for Christmas. Your comments on your project :
2. Now that you are a renowned Gourmet Chef, dig into the cupboards and pull out all your favorite munchies and spices and make up a recipe of your own. Please use all your past experiences to your best know how to create this new dish. Please take notes and write down your recipe in case you want to make it again someday. Please attach recipe & cooking instructions. We will be marking all your work & and all the best recipes will be included in the U of Milo website cookbook.
3. Now it's time to use your imagination and creativity to restore old clothing ! We will cover a very important step in sewing & fashion design. First find a pair of jeans with a hole in them ( preferably in the knee ), Take a pair of scissors and cut them off above the hole, wherever you like ( depending on how daring you are ). Wear these new stylish home-made clothes in the summertime. If you are really ambitious, you can do a matching T-shirt by making it into a tank-top or muscle shirt. Comments and observations on your project ( yours or anyone's will do ) If you want to send us a photo of you modeling your project, it may make it onto our website.
THAT'S IT ! You have now completed your U of M General Studies Entrance Exam, please submit it for marking. If you read everything you should have, studied hard and can correctly answer the following skill testing question, ( or bribe the Prof. ) then you are ready to move on to your first lesson, in your exciting adventure as a U of Milo student
The ? is Е.. What is the question ?
The ? is Е.. What is the question ?
How do you submit your work ? It's real easy. Save it first, in case your computer has tendencies to crash like ours and you haven't yet graduated from U of Milo Computer science. ( We are still looking for a qualified Prof. To teach it, but that won't stop us, it never has before ). After you have saved it you can either hit the send button that's on the bottom of this page, and it might work. Or attach your saved work to an e-mail, include your student ID # name and password and e-mail it to markmyworkandsendmethenextlesson@uofmilo.com If that's too long and difficult to remember, send it to markmyworkandsendmethenextless@uofmilo.com ( we abbreviated it ). Okay so we are jerking your chain just send it to Iamdone@uofmilo.com and we will mark it and e-mail you your FIRST lesson. Don't forget to make sure you have paid your tuition fees, and got an ID # and password. If you haven't just make sure you save this page & click on Enroll me Now.